Social Networking Sites/Online Messenger Programs.
There are so many ways to stay connected these days, and finding friends/family to network with can be very exciting. I personally use only Facebook and Yahoo Chat (besides the obvious blog...but you already knew that one), and I enjoy creating witty status updates, quoting people, commenting on others' status updates, sharing pictures, or just blabbing about what is going on during the day.I have over 250 "friends" on Facebook comprised of family members both here and far away, close friends both past and present, as well as people that I just consider to be acquaintances. I love to see my elementary classmates all grown up with families of their own. It's fun to read what other mommies are doing on a daily basis, too.What an amazing thing the internet can be!
Unfortunately, many people take these sites too seriously. Let me just say from the get-go: FACEBOOK IS NOT MY REALITY.
Yes, as much as I am on there, if you were on my friends list, you would probably tend to think otherwise. I wouldn't blame you. Let me say this: if you don't like my status update, then ignore it. If I have posted something religious/political on my wall that offends you, too bad. If the pictures of myself or my family give you a reason to gossip, that's your problem.
Do you get the point here?!?
Now, I'm not saying all of this to just come off as completely negative. There have been plenty of times I disagreed with things I saw on Facebook. I also laugh my butt off at some of the characters that are on there on a daily basis. It's interaction---virtual interaction---and it in no way defines us as humans. You can't understand my personality and heart just from what I write on a public forum, and I can't expect to understand you from only that information either.
The one thing that bothers me about Facebook (and let me say, I'm using FB as my example because I have had the most discussions with others about what goes on there) is how much UNFRIENDING there is. Did you know that "unfriend" was Webster's Dictionary's new word for 2009, just because of Facebook? Amazing.
Anywho, if I choose to unfriend someone, or they choose to unfriend me, there are always hurt feelings involved. Why is that? It's not our reality. Or has it become that? We all want to be liked, and unfriending is like the worst blow a person could receive to his or her ego. Funny how that works. And I got over that a long time ago, just so you know.
Others use FB as a way to show off or flaunt their "perfect lives" in the faces of others. I can't stand that either. Be real, people. IT'S A STATUS UPDATE. That's it. End of story. I get that you think your life is far superior to mine, but not everyone in virtual world needs to feel belittled because you are insecure about your "perfect life." Then there are those that choose to sit back and judge their "friends." What good is that going to do? I'm just sayin'...
For me, there ARE good things that have come from Facebook. For instance, I had a sweet woman named Abigail message me on FB one day. She and I have a mutual friend, and she was curious as to how I knew this person. She also saw my postings on the friend's wall and thought she and I might have more things in common than we knew. She lives in another state. I had never met her. We became friends, started talking back and forth, and I began to buy jewelry from her (she started her own business and I LOVE to support women who do so). We hit it off beautifully. The one thing I was sad about was that we had not met in real life.
God changed that a few days ago.
As I was leaving Wal-Mart, a couple coming in caught my eye. The woman--I knew her. But how? WAIT! I know! It's Abigail!! Holy cow!!!
I rushed back in and walked up to her boldly. When she turned around and realized who I was, we both screamed and hugged. It was so wonderful to hug her neck and hear her voice in real life. She is such a beautiful person!
That is just one of the ways social networking sites can be fun. Meeting new people and having the chance to share our lives with one another is a good thing--I'm all for it! I had to change my attitude about FB recently. No more was I going to worry about what my "friends" thought of me. If I pop off with an over-the-top comment, status update, or bantering session back and forth with my husband, it's OKAY. No need to gasp or immediately assume I am a bad person with no Christian values or standards.
For the record, I am a PROUD Christian with values and standards.
If you feel the need to unfriend a person because they are being "too real" for you, that's your choice. I, personally, prefer to see others' lives through just the tiny window we call Facebook (or other sites mentioned above), whether good, bad, or indifferent. Don't spend your life apologizing for being a human being, for we are not required to be perfect 24/7. Whether your skin is white, black, tan, yellow, blue or orange--whether you had a horrible upbringing or were fed with a silver spoon--whether or not you agree with the President, the weather, healthcare reform, certain parenting techniques, environmental issues, or the religion of your neighbor--just be who you are and let others see that.
Allow sites like Facebook to just be that--internet sites--where your only intent is to share your life with others and have them share theirs with you.
Or make it a place where you can show off your new tattoos. *chortle*
"It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
~Mel
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Friday, January 1, 2010
Goodbye 2009...
...and hello 2010.
A new month. A new year. A new decade. Who could ask for more of a fresh start?
In no way was 2009 a good year for me. I hated every minute of it from about August on. At times, it felt like life was spiraling out of control and there was no way to recover. I felt alone, ashamed, sick, sad, confused, frustrated, numb, angry, and much more. I was not prepared to handle the roller coaster of emotions (and even the lack thereof) that I experienced.
Let's play some catch up, shall we?
John's 13 weeks in basic training was...HARD. Although I had always considered myself to be a strong woman, I failed in many ways.
Enough said.
It was so frustrating to know in my mind and heart that I had a wonderful husband far away serving our country, when I would spend 13 weeks of nights alone with 3 children. Of course family members helped me, and I was blessed beyond measure by them. But, there has forever been an independent nature inside of me that screams to get out--in other words, I feel like I must take care of things myself or I would be a failure. I did some things that made people "assume" I had fallen off the deep end. I got an eyebrow piercing, got a new tattoo, and dyed my hair. After all, you know that's what a person does when they are going off the deep end. *touch of sarcasm there* Heaven forbid people see the things I did right, like run a 1/2 marathon, take care of 3 children day and night, take a night class to become a personal trainer...you know, those things.
*ahem*
Unfortunately, when John returned from what was really just a drop in the "serving our country for an extended period of time" bucket, things went from good to bad...then bad to worse...then to just plain overwhelming. And let me assure you none of our problems stemmed from the fact that I got the piercing, tattoo, and dyed my hair. We were 2 different people: he in a good way, me in a not so good way. He came back a more loving, caring, kind, amazing man. I was left numb by circumstances that were totally within my control that I chose to let overtake me, and he came home to a cold, unresponsive, and depressed wife.
(You might be asking, "Why in the world is she sharing this?" It's the truth, folks. Plain and simple. And I refuse to hide from it for the rest of my life. Judge if you must--or stop reading. Just know it's REAL life, and sometimes real life is not pretty.)
As much as John and I love each other, there was a point when we couldn't see the silver lining in anything. We felt doomed as a couple--as a family--as individuals. I can't say that I've ever gotten to that point before, but I can safely say I don't ever want to go there again. It took weeks/months to reconnect and repair the damage done. The one thing we knew for sure: God had a plan for us, and He put us together for a reason. We haven't made it 13 years to give up now. We have fought tooth and nail for everything we have gained back. John has poured out his love to me, and I have slowly regained my emotions and sense of well being.
*during this time, sweet Caroline had her 3rd birthday, and darling Caitlin had her 11th birthday. Our babies are growing up. Bleh.*
Last night, New Year's Eve, was not necessarily about escaping the crap that happened in 2009. To me, it's like a completely new beginning. I can safely say John and I made the RIGHT choices about our marriage and family, no matter what outsiders may think or feel. He is the most honorable, loving, giving, kind, and handsome man I've ever met. I don't deserve him, but God has allowed me to continue to be a part of his life. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend the next decade with, and that's the truth. We are healing, slowly but surely. Each day, it gets better and better. I smile more, and I laugh louder. I can be myself and feel every emotion I once lost, just as deeply as before. I'm not afraid to cry, be honest, step out of my comfort zone, or allow people to see the real me.
*And I got the chance to start playing my violin again. I couldn't ask for more.*
There are many changes coming up in 2010, and although I don't know them all right now, I know it's been promised to us. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. We are the Haskell Rascals, and nothing is going to change that.
And FYI: I removed the eyebrow piercing. It just wasn't me.
~Mel
A new month. A new year. A new decade. Who could ask for more of a fresh start?
In no way was 2009 a good year for me. I hated every minute of it from about August on. At times, it felt like life was spiraling out of control and there was no way to recover. I felt alone, ashamed, sick, sad, confused, frustrated, numb, angry, and much more. I was not prepared to handle the roller coaster of emotions (and even the lack thereof) that I experienced.
Let's play some catch up, shall we?
John's 13 weeks in basic training was...HARD. Although I had always considered myself to be a strong woman, I failed in many ways.
Enough said.
It was so frustrating to know in my mind and heart that I had a wonderful husband far away serving our country, when I would spend 13 weeks of nights alone with 3 children. Of course family members helped me, and I was blessed beyond measure by them. But, there has forever been an independent nature inside of me that screams to get out--in other words, I feel like I must take care of things myself or I would be a failure. I did some things that made people "assume" I had fallen off the deep end. I got an eyebrow piercing, got a new tattoo, and dyed my hair. After all, you know that's what a person does when they are going off the deep end. *touch of sarcasm there* Heaven forbid people see the things I did right, like run a 1/2 marathon, take care of 3 children day and night, take a night class to become a personal trainer...you know, those things.
*ahem*
Unfortunately, when John returned from what was really just a drop in the "serving our country for an extended period of time" bucket, things went from good to bad...then bad to worse...then to just plain overwhelming. And let me assure you none of our problems stemmed from the fact that I got the piercing, tattoo, and dyed my hair. We were 2 different people: he in a good way, me in a not so good way. He came back a more loving, caring, kind, amazing man. I was left numb by circumstances that were totally within my control that I chose to let overtake me, and he came home to a cold, unresponsive, and depressed wife.
(You might be asking, "Why in the world is she sharing this?" It's the truth, folks. Plain and simple. And I refuse to hide from it for the rest of my life. Judge if you must--or stop reading. Just know it's REAL life, and sometimes real life is not pretty.)
As much as John and I love each other, there was a point when we couldn't see the silver lining in anything. We felt doomed as a couple--as a family--as individuals. I can't say that I've ever gotten to that point before, but I can safely say I don't ever want to go there again. It took weeks/months to reconnect and repair the damage done. The one thing we knew for sure: God had a plan for us, and He put us together for a reason. We haven't made it 13 years to give up now. We have fought tooth and nail for everything we have gained back. John has poured out his love to me, and I have slowly regained my emotions and sense of well being.
*during this time, sweet Caroline had her 3rd birthday, and darling Caitlin had her 11th birthday. Our babies are growing up. Bleh.*
Last night, New Year's Eve, was not necessarily about escaping the crap that happened in 2009. To me, it's like a completely new beginning. I can safely say John and I made the RIGHT choices about our marriage and family, no matter what outsiders may think or feel. He is the most honorable, loving, giving, kind, and handsome man I've ever met. I don't deserve him, but God has allowed me to continue to be a part of his life. I can't think of anyone else I'd rather spend the next decade with, and that's the truth. We are healing, slowly but surely. Each day, it gets better and better. I smile more, and I laugh louder. I can be myself and feel every emotion I once lost, just as deeply as before. I'm not afraid to cry, be honest, step out of my comfort zone, or allow people to see the real me.
*And I got the chance to start playing my violin again. I couldn't ask for more.*
There are many changes coming up in 2010, and although I don't know them all right now, I know it's been promised to us. What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. We are the Haskell Rascals, and nothing is going to change that.
And FYI: I removed the eyebrow piercing. It just wasn't me.
~Mel
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Merry Christmas
It's been over 4 months since I last blogged. Unfortunately, there isn't enough time in the world to catch everyone up on all that has been going on, but just know we've stayed busy.
I do plan to come back to blogging...eventually. :)
Until then, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
I do plan to come back to blogging...eventually. :)
Until then, MERRY CHRISTMAS!!
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
First 2 Days
After saying our goodbyes at the airport Monday morning, I wasn't sure if/when John would call me next. He took his cell phone and a calling card, but there were no guarantees.
Needless to say, communication hasn't been an issue--YET. :0)
John called from DFW airport Monday afternoon--twice. He was bored and the flights were spread apart. Thank goodness he took the cell phone. I was glad to talk to him...that way it wasn't feeling so permanent yet. We had 3 more conversations throughout Monday. One more from the Atlanta airport, and then 2 from the bus that was taking them to Ft. Jackson, SC. Apparently the military is too broke to fly these recruits in to SC--instead, they were forced to ride a bus for over 5 hours. It was John and about 20 other people, all under the age of 20. Woohoo! He was a tad annoyed at the level of maturity in which he was being subjected, but what can a guy do when the military owns your butt for 11 weeks?!?
I heard from John today, which was great. The only unfortunate part was WHY he called. Apparently our 3 childrens' birth certificates (that have been used for everything under the sun and copied about 1,000 times already) are not sufficient to be able to enroll them in the military insurance program. They want a certified copy of EACH. Arggggg!! John was so frustrated and running on very little sleep (ask me how I know this), so he was not in the best of moods. After much "debate" with the lady in reception, he decided to forget the enrollment process for the kids for now, and just continue with Pantex's insurance coverage--until he gets home and can straighten everything out. Oy!
John was able to make one last phone call from his calling card just now. He's doing well, but I can tell he's tired, stressed, frustrated, bored, etc. He thinks that his platoon will ship out to basic training from reception sometime Friday. He already has his uniform, has already done one night watch, and is probably the oldest recruit thus far. There are 40 in his platoon, and he said the closest one to his age was 24. Yeehaw! He was fairly sure he would be able to call tomorrow evening around the same time, but after that there probably won't be communication with him for a few days, if not weeks.
I'll write when I know more. Just keep him in your thoughts/prayers as he gets closer to beginning the "fun part" of his journey. :0)
~Mel
Needless to say, communication hasn't been an issue--YET. :0)
John called from DFW airport Monday afternoon--twice. He was bored and the flights were spread apart. Thank goodness he took the cell phone. I was glad to talk to him...that way it wasn't feeling so permanent yet. We had 3 more conversations throughout Monday. One more from the Atlanta airport, and then 2 from the bus that was taking them to Ft. Jackson, SC. Apparently the military is too broke to fly these recruits in to SC--instead, they were forced to ride a bus for over 5 hours. It was John and about 20 other people, all under the age of 20. Woohoo! He was a tad annoyed at the level of maturity in which he was being subjected, but what can a guy do when the military owns your butt for 11 weeks?!?
I heard from John today, which was great. The only unfortunate part was WHY he called. Apparently our 3 childrens' birth certificates (that have been used for everything under the sun and copied about 1,000 times already) are not sufficient to be able to enroll them in the military insurance program. They want a certified copy of EACH. Arggggg!! John was so frustrated and running on very little sleep (ask me how I know this), so he was not in the best of moods. After much "debate" with the lady in reception, he decided to forget the enrollment process for the kids for now, and just continue with Pantex's insurance coverage--until he gets home and can straighten everything out. Oy!
John was able to make one last phone call from his calling card just now. He's doing well, but I can tell he's tired, stressed, frustrated, bored, etc. He thinks that his platoon will ship out to basic training from reception sometime Friday. He already has his uniform, has already done one night watch, and is probably the oldest recruit thus far. There are 40 in his platoon, and he said the closest one to his age was 24. Yeehaw! He was fairly sure he would be able to call tomorrow evening around the same time, but after that there probably won't be communication with him for a few days, if not weeks.
I'll write when I know more. Just keep him in your thoughts/prayers as he gets closer to beginning the "fun part" of his journey. :0)
~Mel
Monday, August 10, 2009
This Is The Day
This is the day I have been both looking forward to and dreading for about 3 months now.
Today is the day John leaves for basic training. *sigh*
We have spent the last week hanging out and just being a family, which has been wonderful. No work, no school, no real responsibilities....bliss. Last night I helped John check off each item on his packing list, but it still didn't seem completely real. This morning I drove him to the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) at 5am, and again---still didn't seem real. Now that I'm waiting for a phone call from his recruiter, I'm starting to get antsy.
The phone call I am waiting for will hopefully come around 12pm. The recruiter will let me know it's time to come to the airport and give our last hugs and kisses to Daddy. I'm certainly excited for John--I think he's a wonderful man of integrity and patriotism--but at the same time I'm hesitant to write any true feelings. I simply don't have any.
Numb would best explain what I am right now. That's not a bad thing, mind you--it's just what I am. There is definitely no anger or frustration, and the fear I was feeling about 3 weeks ago is gone. I am positive I can do this alone, as long as it's only for 10-11wks. *wink*
I remind myself every day that there are PLENTY of women making bigger sacrifices than I am. They spend months/years alone, and they move all over the country at a moment's notice. I have the freedom to stay put and surround myself with helpful and loving family and friends.
That's great in my book.
So.......this is the day. I am both glad and sad that it has arrived.
~Mel
Today is the day John leaves for basic training. *sigh*
We have spent the last week hanging out and just being a family, which has been wonderful. No work, no school, no real responsibilities....bliss. Last night I helped John check off each item on his packing list, but it still didn't seem completely real. This morning I drove him to the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS) at 5am, and again---still didn't seem real. Now that I'm waiting for a phone call from his recruiter, I'm starting to get antsy.
The phone call I am waiting for will hopefully come around 12pm. The recruiter will let me know it's time to come to the airport and give our last hugs and kisses to Daddy. I'm certainly excited for John--I think he's a wonderful man of integrity and patriotism--but at the same time I'm hesitant to write any true feelings. I simply don't have any.
Numb would best explain what I am right now. That's not a bad thing, mind you--it's just what I am. There is definitely no anger or frustration, and the fear I was feeling about 3 weeks ago is gone. I am positive I can do this alone, as long as it's only for 10-11wks. *wink*
I remind myself every day that there are PLENTY of women making bigger sacrifices than I am. They spend months/years alone, and they move all over the country at a moment's notice. I have the freedom to stay put and surround myself with helpful and loving family and friends.
That's great in my book.
So.......this is the day. I am both glad and sad that it has arrived.
~Mel
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