Probably Should Have Been A Cop

When I was young, I dreamed of being a cop just like my Daddy. I thought he had the coolest job, wore the coolest clothes, and the best part---he got to tell people what to do (or so I thought). I had to put those dreams to rest when I married John. We decided a long time ago that even though I was capable of being a cop, it wasn't going to be a good idea. For the kids, having both parents work shift jobs would not be a stable home. I think we made the right decision. *wink*
Anywho, this entry is just to demonstrate the point that I would have made a decent cop--at least in my mind. :) These are two separate instances where I decided not to keep my mouth shut...see where this is going?!?

#1:
We were all over at my parents' house on Saturday, visiting with my Uncle Kelly and his family. We had just finished eating dinner, and Mom, Aunt Vicki, and I were sitting at the bar in the kitchen visiting while the men and children hung out on the back porch. I looked out Mom's big bay window into the front yard, and saw the most irritating thing. There was a man, mid-40's, walking a Beagle along the sidewalk. He stopped at a certain point in Mom's yard and allowed the dog to go through the "potty ritual" while he nervously looked into the window to see if anyone was watching. I turned to Mom and said, "Hey, don't you just love it when people let their dogs poop in your yard." A look came over her face. "Is it a Beagle?" she asked. She ran to the window and looked out. "It is!!! It's that stupid Beagle!! That darn man comes by everyday about the same time and let's that dog do that on my lawn! I am SO TIRED of it! I'll be right back." She proceeded to run to the front door and throw it open, making sure that she made a ton of noise doing it. The man looked at her and began to scurry away, dog in tow. She shut the door and went back into the kitchen to talk.

At this point, I was severely irritated. She didn't make a big enough point to him in my mind. Time for the fire-y redhead to step in.

I went to the door, burst out of it, and ran across the lawn to confront the man. He was a ways down the sidewalk by now, so I just yelled at the top of my lungs..."Hey YOU!!! STOP letting your stupid little dog poop in this yard. DO YOU HEAR ME!?! Stop it!!" I went back into the house, somewhat satisfied. What was funny was that the entire family, men and all, couldn't believe I had the guts to say something. It was a side of me that not many have seen, but that would show up again sooner than expected....

#2:
I was relaxing in the living room and checking email last night around 9:30pm, when I heard a noise that has grated on my nerves since the day we moved in. It was the sound of a very annoying individual riding a 4-wheeler up and down the alley that is between all of the houses on this end of Foxridge and the field. We are definitely blessed to live at the end of the cul-de-sac, but there are times people use the alley as a raceway. The sound of this 4-wheeler is like a really loud engine that someone is reving. By the time it reaches the top of the hill/alley, it's at its loudest--right by Caroline and Christian's windows. I let the noise go once...then twice...then three times....
By time number four, something inside me clicked. I had HAD IT with whoever this was that just had to drive his 4-wheeler and make enough rucus to awaken the dead, especially at nighttime. I realized John was in the shower and couldn't take care of the problem, so it was up to me. I went upstairs, retrieved John's LED flashlight from the nightstand (it's the size of a cop's flashlight and about 10,000 times brighter than anything I've seen), and marched out into the dark via my front lawn. I stood at the border between the grass and the alley and waited...
Here he came-the biggest loser in town-driving the 4-wheeler. I could see its headlights, and I just waited patiently until it reached the edge of my lawn. I then turned the flashlight on into the guy's face and yelled, "Hey YOU! STOP!!" Needless to say, it scared the crud out of him--so bad in fact that he slammed on the brakes and made the turn around our fence onto our driveway where the 4-wheeler died. He couldn't revive it. This was too good to be true!
I marched my happy self around the corner with the flashlight, stood back about 20ft. from him, shined it directly into his eyes, and began reprimanding him. It went like this: "HEY!! What in the world do you think you are doing? STOP riding up and down this alley!! Do you see those 2 windows up there (I was gesturing toward my house at this point)?? I have 2 babies alseep up there, and YOU are waking them up!! I have a 6'4, 230lb, bodybuilding husband in the house that could take care of you in a second---don't force me to go get him!!! You really don't want to piss me off!!"
Might I add that during my whole rant, the poor man was trying to start his 4-wheeler and shield his eyes from the blinding light at the same time. He was a Hispanic man that looked to be early 40's--way too old to be joy-riding if you get my drift. Obviously scared and shaken, he says, "Ok, ok. I go home. I go home. Promise! I go home now."
That's right you will!!
So I continued to shine the flashlight at him until he got the 4-wheeler started and even while he was driving back toward the bottom of the hill/alley. He went so slow that it almost died on him again, but he certainly did not want to "piss me off." I did see a glimpse of some brilliance in him. :) Fire-y redhead strikes again!
I really hope things quiet down around here for a while. I don't think I can handle much more excitement in my life. I guess stay-at-home momma fits me for now...but bullies beware!! lol