I'm Just Gonna Throw This Out There

Please pardon the interruption of my Ireland postings (ok, well there was really just 1...but you understand, don't you?), but I had a stream of thought that just won't go away.

Life lately has been "interesting."

The way I thought things would go hasn't been the way they've gone at all. What's up with that?!? I need to know.

Anywho...

John and I were having a serious conversation in the front seat of our car on the way home from Dallas/Ft. Worth this weekend. We discussed a broad spectrum of things--work, lack of work, goals for each of us, religion, etc. It was thoroughly entertaining and maddening all at the same time.
I was able to fully express my opinions, and so was he. It has, however, had me truly thinking.
Being a Christian...what in the heck is it really? Is it all about being better than sinners? Should we have to dress a certain way and go to a certain building on Sunday mornings, Wednesday nights, etc? Should the "potty mouths" we all deal with make us feel shame if ever used? Should drinking a beer or anything alcoholic for that matter out in public make us worry about getting caught doing so? Are there really THAT many rules?
I know I cannot speak for John here, but I've been struggling with the whole "God thing" for quite a while. Circumstances in our marriage, my life, and life in general have flipped my religious views and concepts completely upside down. No longer do I want to hide my gossiping behind prayer requests and the taking thereof. No longer do I want to live one way and put on a good act for the Christian friends I have.
It's absurd. And it's tiring. And I'm DONE.
I love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, strength, mind, etc. In fact, I know where I would be if I didn't have Him on my side. He truly picked me up from the worst possible point in my existence and walked me back into the light. I have every reason to praise Him, love Him, and worship Him.
I will NOT, however, continue on and pretend to be a goody-goody (if any of you ever really believed that's what I was doing, anyway).
Yes, I'll watch my language. No, I won't feel shame if something comes out that wasn't 100% good.
Yes, I will raise my children to love, honor, respect, and follow Him. No, I will not shove religion down their throats.
Yes, I will watch my actions and words toward others. No, I will not continue to say just what I think everyone wants to hear or do what everyone expects of me at all times.

**And just for a side note, if I want to wear torn jeans, a crazy tattoo-promoting shirt, and a little extra makeup to church, I'm going to DO IT. Please don't get me started on tattoos, piercings, and dyed hair. It won't bode well for you. End of story.**

There are those in this world that view rebellion as a bad thing. Nope. I believe it can be a good thing sometimes. I'm choosing not to follow along. Instead, I want to find a different path--the right path for me--and go for it.

Like it or not, love it or not, God died for ALL of us. And I tend to think I make him smile more than I piss Him off. Yup, I said PISS on my blog. No apologies.

I ask myself now just one simple question: "What have I done TODAY for my God?"
That's enough to keep me going, keep my mind on the right track, and help me conquer.
And I'll do it with a smile.

~Mel