My son asked me today if I believed in luck. He's such a sweet, innocent 6 year old with huge questions.
--Then again, he asked me about how tattoos are applied--if they involve ink and needles. Clearly he's the curious type.--
My answer? Well, yes and no. I don't really like the word "luck." Before I got off my religious high-horse, I made it a VERY big point to use the word "blessed" instead. I used to tell myself, "Melissa, there is no such thing as luck, only blessings. If I say I'm lucky, I'm wrong."
I think where I totally went wrong was in the whole concept of luck. It's just an English word describing something that happens to some of us without any other good explanation.
Do I believe that a simple 4 leaf clover is lucky? Not really. It's just a plant, after all. I certainly don't make important life decisions based upon the number of leaves in my clovers. I do think that it's okay to believe in luck. After all, who am I to pop someone's bubble?
Luck or blessings...whatever you call it...have a definite place in this universe. There is one point we cannot argue:
THINGS HAPPEN TO PEOPLE THAT CANNOT BE EXPLAINED BY SIMPLE EXPLANATIONS.
Did that make sense?
It's kind of like saying, "I have tried so long not to conform that I'm actually conforming to nonconformation."
Whew! Lots of thinking there! :)
Another word I don't really like to say but like the concept of is fate. Yes, I definitely believe that "fate" plays a role in this crazy life. I have had conversations, interactions, meetings, and whatnot that were beyond my control, not really of my world, and totally life changing. Fate may be the best English word to describe these occurances, but I'm sure the concept is not totally caught.
Fate.
Luck.
Luck.
Fate.
All just words. Not good depictions of the concepts.
I just had to throw that out there for discussion. What are your opinions?
~Mel
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
St. Patty's Day--Grandpa's Day
St. Patrick's Day used to be nothing more to me than a fun "green day." I embrace my Irish roots and totally wear green when necessary to avoid being pinched. It has also been fun to find cute t-shirts, dresses, and handmade hairbows to decorate my 3 lovely C's for the day. They can be so darling!
4 years ago, St. Patrick's Day took on a whole new meaning. It was the day my grandpa went Home.
My grandma and grandpa Duke have been extremely influential and important in my life. After all, they were really the only grandparents I ever knew. My dad's folks passed away when I was very young. Having my mom's parents live so close the majority of my life made for great memories. My brother and I, being the only grandchildren for so long (until May of this year when we get our first cousin!!!) had an amazing childhood filled with ice cream in the living room, golf cart rides around the neighboorhood, cheers from the stands at basketball games, and much more.
I haven't truly healed from my grandpa's passing. There are days that the sadness overwhelms me. He passed just days after Christian turned 2, and he never got to meet Caroline. As much as he loved on me and my brother, he loved on my children that much more.
Watching Parkinson's Disease take his body and mind was so hard. I do know he is now without pain and in a new body, but it still hurts to think about his last years on this earth.
Wearing green no longer seems to be a big deal to me on St. Patty's Day. Instead, I prefer to bask in the memories of my grandpa. I know he would be proud to see how the 3 C's have grown, what they've accomplished, and how adorable they are.
I can still hear him saying, "Hey MelissaBeth!" That's how he greeted me, and he was and is the only person to ever call me that. I hope I can keep that sweet memory tucked away forever--so I never lose the sound of his voice.
~Mel
4 years ago, St. Patrick's Day took on a whole new meaning. It was the day my grandpa went Home.
My grandma and grandpa Duke have been extremely influential and important in my life. After all, they were really the only grandparents I ever knew. My dad's folks passed away when I was very young. Having my mom's parents live so close the majority of my life made for great memories. My brother and I, being the only grandchildren for so long (until May of this year when we get our first cousin!!!) had an amazing childhood filled with ice cream in the living room, golf cart rides around the neighboorhood, cheers from the stands at basketball games, and much more.
I haven't truly healed from my grandpa's passing. There are days that the sadness overwhelms me. He passed just days after Christian turned 2, and he never got to meet Caroline. As much as he loved on me and my brother, he loved on my children that much more.
Watching Parkinson's Disease take his body and mind was so hard. I do know he is now without pain and in a new body, but it still hurts to think about his last years on this earth.
Wearing green no longer seems to be a big deal to me on St. Patty's Day. Instead, I prefer to bask in the memories of my grandpa. I know he would be proud to see how the 3 C's have grown, what they've accomplished, and how adorable they are.
I can still hear him saying, "Hey MelissaBeth!" That's how he greeted me, and he was and is the only person to ever call me that. I hope I can keep that sweet memory tucked away forever--so I never lose the sound of his voice.
~Mel
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Houston, we have a problem...
And that problem is TRAFFIC.
Holy night, have any of you experienced the wonderfulness (that's a word, right?) of Houston traffic?!? It's basically a parking lot at times. Amazing.
Living in Amarillo, I forget the small things like being able to drive from one end to the other of the city in about 25 minutes. In Houston, it takes roughly an hour and a half to get 12 miles. Sheesh!
I speak of Houston because that is where I am! Thanks to an overly kind mom and grandma, I got to make the trip here with them for my aunt's baby shower. Yes, my sweet aunt, Jamie, is preggers with her 1st baby--a boy--due in May. Her shower was thrown by her hubby's family here in Houston, so we thought it only appropriate (and of course fun!) to head down here and join in the celebration. Baby Boy has no name yet...hints the use of the reference to Baby Boy. Duh.
Anywho, we are having a fabulous time. My bro, Josh, still lives here, so we are camped out at his casa for a few days. Nothing like blow up beds and crazy night time talks to make for an exciting weekend.
We've already been to the shower, Urban Outfitters, Starbucks, Target, and Wal-Mart. I think our trip is fairly complete. :0)
I have really enjoyed this time of just being with this group of family members. I do, however, totally miss my sweet husband and babies back home! I know they are having fun, but I rarely ever get out and about without at least one little body with me. John is such a good daddy. I'm so blessed to have him in my life!
Tomorrow, we will visit with Jamie and her fam one more time before leaving on a jet plane back to A Town. I've loved the quick trip--had some great sleep, and I'll be ready to take on the next week of Spring Break. Super busy times to come!
~Mel
Holy night, have any of you experienced the wonderfulness (that's a word, right?) of Houston traffic?!? It's basically a parking lot at times. Amazing.
Living in Amarillo, I forget the small things like being able to drive from one end to the other of the city in about 25 minutes. In Houston, it takes roughly an hour and a half to get 12 miles. Sheesh!
I speak of Houston because that is where I am! Thanks to an overly kind mom and grandma, I got to make the trip here with them for my aunt's baby shower. Yes, my sweet aunt, Jamie, is preggers with her 1st baby--a boy--due in May. Her shower was thrown by her hubby's family here in Houston, so we thought it only appropriate (and of course fun!) to head down here and join in the celebration. Baby Boy has no name yet...hints the use of the reference to Baby Boy. Duh.
Anywho, we are having a fabulous time. My bro, Josh, still lives here, so we are camped out at his casa for a few days. Nothing like blow up beds and crazy night time talks to make for an exciting weekend.
We've already been to the shower, Urban Outfitters, Starbucks, Target, and Wal-Mart. I think our trip is fairly complete. :0)
I have really enjoyed this time of just being with this group of family members. I do, however, totally miss my sweet husband and babies back home! I know they are having fun, but I rarely ever get out and about without at least one little body with me. John is such a good daddy. I'm so blessed to have him in my life!
Tomorrow, we will visit with Jamie and her fam one more time before leaving on a jet plane back to A Town. I've loved the quick trip--had some great sleep, and I'll be ready to take on the next week of Spring Break. Super busy times to come!
~Mel
Friday, March 5, 2010
Coming Alive--Continued
So here I was--enrolled in a night class for personal training. Actually, I was very nervous. John and I have worked out together since I was 16, so theoretically I knew a thing or two. Right?!?
The class was a TON of fun! It all just....clicked. My brain could totally wrap around all of the info given, I asked questions (not something I do in classes--too shy usually), participated in ALL of the activities, had an inspiring and amazing client for 9 weeks, and just loved every second of it all. I can't say I've felt that way about any other subject or area of work.
Finally, I had found something that MADE SENSE and brought me joy. I love helping others, especially other women. Feeling good about your body is priceless, and unfortunately it's hard to come by these days. Too much media input has left women feeling depressed, unworthy, and completely unattractive.
So sad.
Anywho, it all began making sense. I could be a personal trainer, make my own hours, and still be a "stay at home mom." Perfect!
I had a friend ask me one time if there was anything in my life--besides my husband and children--that made me "come alive." At the time, the answer was a big NO. I felt like I was just blowing through each day, filling it with chores and whatnot, just so I would somehow feel important or needed.
In other words, I had a serious acceptance issue. I began to become extremely needy and rely on everyone around me to provide me with my own self worth. Bad idea.
Personal training, nutrition, health---they ALL make me come alive! I'm excited about my future and career. I can't wait to work with clients, gain new friendships, and make a difference in someone else's life. I want to see others come alive when they discover their inner strength, their hidden power, and their amazing bodies. Everyone deserves that. Everyone!
So if it seems as though I'm obsessed with fitness, the gym, kettlebells, all things nutrition-related, and health, I AM! It makes me come alive.
Have YOU found what makes you come alive?!? I certainly hope so.
I found this quote yesterday, and it pretty much sums up what I've been feeling lately after working with several female clients (and just from the pure fact that I deal with this myself!). Just thought I'd share:
“For women...bras, panties, bathing suits, and other stereotypical gear are visual reminders of a commercial, idealized feminine image that our real and diverse female bodies can't possibly fit. Without these visual references, each individual woman's body demands to be accepted on its own terms. We stop being comparatives. We begin to be unique.” ~Gloria Steinem
~Mel
The class was a TON of fun! It all just....clicked. My brain could totally wrap around all of the info given, I asked questions (not something I do in classes--too shy usually), participated in ALL of the activities, had an inspiring and amazing client for 9 weeks, and just loved every second of it all. I can't say I've felt that way about any other subject or area of work.
Finally, I had found something that MADE SENSE and brought me joy. I love helping others, especially other women. Feeling good about your body is priceless, and unfortunately it's hard to come by these days. Too much media input has left women feeling depressed, unworthy, and completely unattractive.
So sad.
Anywho, it all began making sense. I could be a personal trainer, make my own hours, and still be a "stay at home mom." Perfect!
I had a friend ask me one time if there was anything in my life--besides my husband and children--that made me "come alive." At the time, the answer was a big NO. I felt like I was just blowing through each day, filling it with chores and whatnot, just so I would somehow feel important or needed.
In other words, I had a serious acceptance issue. I began to become extremely needy and rely on everyone around me to provide me with my own self worth. Bad idea.
Personal training, nutrition, health---they ALL make me come alive! I'm excited about my future and career. I can't wait to work with clients, gain new friendships, and make a difference in someone else's life. I want to see others come alive when they discover their inner strength, their hidden power, and their amazing bodies. Everyone deserves that. Everyone!
So if it seems as though I'm obsessed with fitness, the gym, kettlebells, all things nutrition-related, and health, I AM! It makes me come alive.
Have YOU found what makes you come alive?!? I certainly hope so.
I found this quote yesterday, and it pretty much sums up what I've been feeling lately after working with several female clients (and just from the pure fact that I deal with this myself!). Just thought I'd share:
“For women...bras, panties, bathing suits, and other stereotypical gear are visual reminders of a commercial, idealized feminine image that our real and diverse female bodies can't possibly fit. Without these visual references, each individual woman's body demands to be accepted on its own terms. We stop being comparatives. We begin to be unique.” ~Gloria Steinem
~Mel
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Making My Mark And Coming Alive
I've struggled for over 10 years now with the whole idea of what I want to be when I grow up.
First, I tried being a Psychology major. That didn't quite float my boat. Too much reading.
Then, I tried Dental Hygiene. While that is a good one, it wasn't my idea of fun--picking teeth for the rest of my life.
Next, I majored in Respiratory Therapy. I did enjoy this one, but after being put on complete bedrest in the middle of the 2 year program, I had a lot of time to think. I decided sucking gunk out of patients' throats and noses forever didn't sound completely pleasing.
I thought I had totally figured it out when I decided to pursue being a cop. Yes, that sounded like my cup of tea. I could be a bad ass, help others, and be exposed to more of what the world was all about. After all, my dad was a cop, and what daughter doesn't at some point think what their daddy does is the BEST?!? So I had my heart set on the whole cop thing. I waltzed up in to APD, asked for an application to their academy, and was TURNED DOWN. Apparently, APD is having some budgeting issues. They were shutting down their academy until further notice.
NOOOOOO!!!! For the love of all that's sacred! WHY?!?
I can't deny that I was highly ticked at this. After all, they were messing with someone's future plans. Didn't they realize that?
I was forced to deal with this frustration within myself. And believe me, it didn't go well. I was so mad for so long. I just wanted to have a career...be something of importance to this world...
**Don't misunderstand something here. I love being a stay at home mom. I do, however, realize my children will not be small forever. Having 2 of them already in school and one only 2 years away from it, I just wanted to have a career in the works so I can keep myself busy when the house is empty during the day--you know, further down the road. Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you blog readers. I'm just sayin'.**
Ok, so I whined, cried, pitched a hissy fit, and basically gave up when the "cop door" was slammed shut. What now? Would I ever find anything that made me happy? Would I be able to some day leave my mark on this world?
So many questions, no answers.
I spent a lot of time just looking within myself. Amidst all of this, I was still dealing with John being gone and the fears/hurts within that situation. I was honestly afraid I would never get out of this hole.
Then---it came to me. Literally.
One day I received the Amarillo College Continuing Education catalog in the mail. I love those things. That's where I find classes to sign the kids up for during the semester (like ballet, gymnastics, etc.). For some strange reason, I decided to look in the back section--where the adult continuing ed classes are. I happened upon the Personal Trainer course. It was a semester long, on Tuesday nights, and I knew my mom could help with the kids while I attended classes. Something within me jumped--like butterflies in the tummy from excitement.
It had come to me!
I was coming alive.
To be continued...
~Mel
First, I tried being a Psychology major. That didn't quite float my boat. Too much reading.
Then, I tried Dental Hygiene. While that is a good one, it wasn't my idea of fun--picking teeth for the rest of my life.
Next, I majored in Respiratory Therapy. I did enjoy this one, but after being put on complete bedrest in the middle of the 2 year program, I had a lot of time to think. I decided sucking gunk out of patients' throats and noses forever didn't sound completely pleasing.
I thought I had totally figured it out when I decided to pursue being a cop. Yes, that sounded like my cup of tea. I could be a bad ass, help others, and be exposed to more of what the world was all about. After all, my dad was a cop, and what daughter doesn't at some point think what their daddy does is the BEST?!? So I had my heart set on the whole cop thing. I waltzed up in to APD, asked for an application to their academy, and was TURNED DOWN. Apparently, APD is having some budgeting issues. They were shutting down their academy until further notice.
NOOOOOO!!!! For the love of all that's sacred! WHY?!?
I can't deny that I was highly ticked at this. After all, they were messing with someone's future plans. Didn't they realize that?
I was forced to deal with this frustration within myself. And believe me, it didn't go well. I was so mad for so long. I just wanted to have a career...be something of importance to this world...
**Don't misunderstand something here. I love being a stay at home mom. I do, however, realize my children will not be small forever. Having 2 of them already in school and one only 2 years away from it, I just wanted to have a career in the works so I can keep myself busy when the house is empty during the day--you know, further down the road. Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you blog readers. I'm just sayin'.**
Ok, so I whined, cried, pitched a hissy fit, and basically gave up when the "cop door" was slammed shut. What now? Would I ever find anything that made me happy? Would I be able to some day leave my mark on this world?
So many questions, no answers.
I spent a lot of time just looking within myself. Amidst all of this, I was still dealing with John being gone and the fears/hurts within that situation. I was honestly afraid I would never get out of this hole.
Then---it came to me. Literally.
One day I received the Amarillo College Continuing Education catalog in the mail. I love those things. That's where I find classes to sign the kids up for during the semester (like ballet, gymnastics, etc.). For some strange reason, I decided to look in the back section--where the adult continuing ed classes are. I happened upon the Personal Trainer course. It was a semester long, on Tuesday nights, and I knew my mom could help with the kids while I attended classes. Something within me jumped--like butterflies in the tummy from excitement.
It had come to me!
I was coming alive.
To be continued...
~Mel
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