I've struggled for over 10 years now with the whole idea of what I want to be when I grow up.
First, I tried being a Psychology major. That didn't quite float my boat. Too much reading.
Then, I tried Dental Hygiene. While that is a good one, it wasn't my idea of fun--picking teeth for the rest of my life.
Next, I majored in Respiratory Therapy. I did enjoy this one, but after being put on complete bedrest in the middle of the 2 year program, I had a lot of time to think. I decided sucking gunk out of patients' throats and noses forever didn't sound completely pleasing.
I thought I had totally figured it out when I decided to pursue being a cop. Yes, that sounded like my cup of tea. I could be a bad ass, help others, and be exposed to more of what the world was all about. After all, my dad was a cop, and what daughter doesn't at some point think what their daddy does is the BEST?!? So I had my heart set on the whole cop thing. I waltzed up in to APD, asked for an application to their academy, and was TURNED DOWN. Apparently, APD is having some budgeting issues. They were shutting down their academy until further notice.
NOOOOOO!!!! For the love of all that's sacred! WHY?!?
I can't deny that I was highly ticked at this. After all, they were messing with someone's future plans. Didn't they realize that?
I was forced to deal with this frustration within myself. And believe me, it didn't go well. I was so mad for so long. I just wanted to have a career...be something of importance to this world...
**Don't misunderstand something here. I love being a stay at home mom. I do, however, realize my children will not be small forever. Having 2 of them already in school and one only 2 years away from it, I just wanted to have a career in the works so I can keep myself busy when the house is empty during the day--you know, further down the road. Not that I feel the need to explain myself to you blog readers. I'm just sayin'.**
Ok, so I whined, cried, pitched a hissy fit, and basically gave up when the "cop door" was slammed shut. What now? Would I ever find anything that made me happy? Would I be able to some day leave my mark on this world?
So many questions, no answers.
I spent a lot of time just looking within myself. Amidst all of this, I was still dealing with John being gone and the fears/hurts within that situation. I was honestly afraid I would never get out of this hole.
Then---it came to me. Literally.
One day I received the Amarillo College Continuing Education catalog in the mail. I love those things. That's where I find classes to sign the kids up for during the semester (like ballet, gymnastics, etc.). For some strange reason, I decided to look in the back section--where the adult continuing ed classes are. I happened upon the Personal Trainer course. It was a semester long, on Tuesday nights, and I knew my mom could help with the kids while I attended classes. Something within me jumped--like butterflies in the tummy from excitement.
It had come to me!
I was coming alive.
To be continued...
~Mel
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