Heavy

Today just feels....heavy.

I have no idea what to say or how to help a terribly wounded friend who lost her mom to heart problems last night--heart problems that were just being looked at and that didn't really present an immediate threat. I want to hug her, cry with her, and just be there. Too bad she is 10 hours away and that's impossible for now. I am grieving a bit too, I guess.

I have about 99,000 things to do today, none of which include taking a nap.

Our Ireland trip is quickly approaching, and the OCD in me is showing up more often than not. In other words, I'm slightly panicking and not even sure if I have everything ironed out/lined out/bought/thought about.

All of these earthquakes happening around the world have me stirred up. No, I'm not having the typical "doom and gloom" feeling, I just think it's odd that there is this much activity under the earth's surface that is, for some reason, suddenly deciding to make powerful displays in strange places.

The people of Haiti remain heavy on my heart. Putting politics and money aside, these people are poorer than poor and suffering beyond anything I can even imagine. It actually boggles my mind.

I'm thankful for those surrounding me who love on me no matter what and have no interest whatsoever in spreading my misfortunes or bad judgments around the gossip circle. I feel sorry, though, for those who are being kicked while they are down. My problems are really nothing, I'm sure.

Trying to decide which organizations and people to give money to is almost suffocating. I can't help everyone, yet I want to.

I wish I could change the world.

~Mel