Blending

The following picture and letter came from Jada P. Smith's Facebook page....

"A letter to a friend:
Blended families are NEVER easy, but here's why I don't have a lot of sympathy for your situation because... we CHOOSE them. When I married Will, I knew Trey was part of the package...Period! If I didn't want that...I needed to marry someone else. Then I learned if I am going to love Trey...I had to learn to love the most important person in the world to him...his mother. And the two of us may not have always LIKED each other... but we have learned to LOVE each other.

I can't support any actions that keep a man from his children of a previous marriage. These are the situations that separate the women from the girls. Your behavior is that of an insecure child who needs to recognize her own weaknesses that MUST be strengthened to take on the task at hand. We can't say we love our man and then come in between him and his children. THAT'S selfishness...NOT love. WOMAN UP... I've been there...I know. My blended family made me a giant… Taught me so much about love, commitment and it has been the biggest ego death to date. It's time you let your blended family make you the giant you truly are."
J



****The above made me think about the way I handle having an ex-husband who has a new wife. I felt so much anger toward her for her actions, but honestly most of my anger came from her lack of respect for me as the mother of Caitlin, Christian, and Caroline. She married my ex knowing he had 3 children, and that I am and forever will be in his life. I would give my life for them. Their smiles are my saving grace. Understanding that I am the one who gave birth to these 3 precious babies would save her and me a lot of hostility.

I have seen the example of how you should approach this kind of subject by watching Kirk with the 3 C's. He is kind, loving, caring, and wonderful. He never talks bad about their father, always maintains his composure, encourages their relationships with the other set of parents, and tries his best to make it all blend seamlessly. After all, that's what it's about: blending so it becomes one big family to surround, nurture, love and care for the children.
~Mel